To an ultrasound where you might find out your baby has down syndrome?
Yeah you read that right. Apparently my blood test I took two weeks ago showed baby at having an "elevated risk" to have down syndrome.
Elevated meaning 1 in 200 Chance as opposed to the usual 1 in 1,429 for a 22 Year Old Mother to-be.
I'm frustrated. But not scared. I'm nervous. But when the Doc told me on the phone "you have and elevated risk blah blah medical talk blah blah" I didn't get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I don't know if cause in my heart it's not true, or if because either way, it won't matter. Life with a baby, is going to be hard. Life with a DS baby will be a whole different adventure. But that doesn't make me any less excited or in love with this little life growing inside of me. Did you know that 75% of Down Syndrome babies are aborted? I read that yesterday. How terrible. How sad.
I ran into one of my old Young Women's leaders yesterday at work and told her what was going on. She has 4 beautiful multi-talented wonderfully smart normal children. She said with all of them, she had the same thing happen to her.. "elevated risk" with no actual problems with that risk. I don't believe it was a coincidence I ran into her yesterday. I needed that re-assurance that it could be nothing, from someone I know. Someone that proved that risk wrong.
So who knows?
Maybe my baby will be special. Will I love him or her any less? Of course not. Will raising this child be the hardest, most challenging, rewarding and fulfilling thing I will ever do in my entire life? Of course. Down Syndrome or not, the blessings this baby will be in my life will be the same, the trials may be just a little different, but isn't it like that with every child any one has?
Mine just might have an extra chromosome. Which will only make him or her extra awesome.
I am so incredibly grateful Ryan is going to be able to come with me. What a blessing I was able to get a late in the afternoon shift where he would only need to get off work an hour early, and he's already worked an extra hour this week to get in his 40 hours. I find that to not be just a coincidence either.
I'll keep you posted.